Ashley wins 159th consecutive ‘Employee of the Month’ award

Premier League

Newcastle upon Tyne.—At a ceremony at Darsley Park, Newcastle United’s training centre, Lee Charnley pulled down a curtain revealing the portrait of this month’s winner of the Newcastle United’s Employee of the Month award. For the 159th consecutive time, the winner was Mike Ashley.

“Take that!” Ashley shouted at Box Office Manager Steven Tickle, who pundits had favoured to win the coveted award – which comes with a £15 gift card for Sports Direct. Ashley also thanked Charnley and former employee Joe Kinnear for pushing him to aspire to “new heights in my quest for excellence”.

Ashley started the Employee of the Month award as soon as he became owner in an effort to motivate various officials at Newcastle United, but so far he has been the only one to win it. “What can I say, I am nailing it,” Ashley told his staff as he hung another portrait of himself on the wall.

The race is already on for winning next month’s award.

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