Ashley wins 159th consecutive ‘Employee of the Month’ award

Premier League

Newcastle upon Tyne.—At a ceremony at Darsley Park, Newcastle United’s training centre, Lee Charnley pulled down a curtain revealing the portrait of this month’s winner of the Newcastle United’s Employee of the Month award. For the 159th consecutive time, the winner was Mike Ashley.

“Take that!” Ashley shouted at Box Office Manager Steven Tickle, who pundits had favoured to win the coveted award – which comes with a £15 gift card for Sports Direct. Ashley also thanked Charnley and former employee Joe Kinnear for pushing him to aspire to “new heights in my quest for excellence”.

Ashley started the Employee of the Month award as soon as he became owner in an effort to motivate various officials at Newcastle United, but so far he has been the only one to win it. “What can I say, I am nailing it,” Ashley told his staff as he hung another portrait of himself on the wall.

The race is already on for winning next month’s award.

Steve Bruce, Newcastle United, Newcastle Takeover, Mike Ashley

Steve Bruce – The Good, The Bad, The Verdict & The Rating

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Before diving in, let’s review the highlight of the season.

Now that the most important part of this article is out of the way, let’s have a look at Steve Bruce’s first season in charge of Newcastle United.

I know this is a subjective topic, so before I give my own opinion, I do acknowledge there are strong sentiments on either side of the aisle. I had asked my Twitter followers for their thoughts on Steve Bruce this season and had plenty of responses. There was everything from ‘really good’ to ‘utterly awful’. I believe both sides made decent arguments for and against Bruce’s performance this season, so just to reiterate, this is just my opinion.

In addition, I think it’s worth discussing the environment at Newcastle United under this current ownership – irrespective of who the manager is. In the last 13 years, Newcastle have had some decent managers and a surfeit of poor ones – but one thing has remained constant throughout, inept ownership.

As Kevin Keegan famously said “Newcastle are a real one-off. I don’t know of a club that has been run as badly or with such disregard for people…” additionally Alan Shearer has said “There is a lot of unrest in Newcastle because the life and soul really has been sucked out of Newcastle United…”. Given the foundation at the club, it almost doesn’t even matter who United have as a manager/head coach at United – if the ownership is faulty, the club can never progress.

It doesn’t suffice to say that the synergies between management and ownership are non-existent; managing Newcastle United is like trying to sail a ship with a massive hole in the hull. Eventually, the bucket you’re armed with won’t manage emptying out all the sea water flooding in. Ultimately, managing this club doesn’t just simply boil down to tactics and substitutions. There is added bureaucratic baggage that comes with this job that has rightfully earned it the status of a ‘poisoned chalice’. So, when reviewing Bruce’s managerial performance, it behooves oneself to keep this in mind, as handing out a verdict without this context is futile.

The Good

Newcastle United are still in the Premier League next season. It’s awful that this is the standard for the club, but it is.  Many did favour the Magpies to both get relegated this season as well as for Bruce to get the sack – neither happened. Even with the best manager in the world, I highly doubt, with this squad, that Newcastle could finish in the top 8. On the other hand, I believe a really poor manager would have easily gotten the club relegated. Newcastle fans cannot overlook that Bruce did in fact defy the odds set against him from the onset and he should be duly credited for it.

Additionally, Steve Bruce’s man-management skills, his most powerful asset, were on display this season. I know this doesn’t necessarily make him a great manager, but it can be vital in the development of players and team morale. United’s star, Allan Saint-Maximin recently spoke about the amazing impact Bruce has had on him and I believe this boils down to Bruce’s wonderful ability to connect with his players. Bruce is also extremely loyal & forgiving with his team selection, this worked both for and against him this season. A positive example was his persistence with Manquillo, who I believe was one of the more improved players in the squad.

Steve Bruce, Newcastle United, Newcastle Takeover, Mike Ashley
Getty Images

The Bad

Steve Bruce was extremely slow to make desperately needed changes throughout the course of the season. This could be seen in two main facets. Firstly, was his perseverance with Joelinton. Unlike Manquillo, Big Jo failed to deliver the goods time and time again. Fans were desperately hoping for Newcastle United’s record signing to adapt and start scoring but it just never came to fruition. In all fairness, this was compounded by poor tactics, where he found himself completely isolated up front for most parts of the season. His goal tally ended on a measly 2 goals, and after spending £40m on him, ‘disappointed’ is the mildest superlative one could use in describing the outcome. It was only after the restart did Bruce switch to Dwight Gayle and it duly paid dividends. He ended up with 4 goals and 2 assists from 9 starts which was a much better return than what the Brazilian offered.

Secondly, the tactics and style of play were subpar. Newcastle played some horrendous football this season, it’s hard to look past this. The persistence of setting up with 5 at the back led to some of the worst performances seen in a while; Manchester City and Leicester are two matches that spring to mind. Bruce also demonstrated himself as largely reactive as opposed to proactive in his use of substitutions. What is meant by that, is that he seldom used his subs to change a game, but rather waited for the game to change and then subsequently brought on players.

To his credit, Bruce did eventually (although not entirely) move away from the back 5 to a back 4 and saw an immediate impact. Our best performances of the season were played with this setup.

The Verdict

Steve Bruce summed up this season in one word, “Okay”, and I tend to agree with him. For many who think it’s been terrible, I hear you and there is grounding for your claim. However, I believe that Newcastle finishing 13th and staying up cannot be overlooked given the circumstances. Had I asked you at the start of this season where United would have finished, I am not too sure many would have suggested anything higher than 15th. Yes, the tactics have been poor for the lion’s share of the season and the style has been tedious, but Newcastle are still in the Premier League and have reached their target – one which has been drastically lowered over the past 13 years.

The Rating

Taking all of this into account, and given the circumstances of the club, Toon Talk gives Steve Bruce a rating of 5.5/10 this season.

Newcastle Takeover Dictionary – Understanding The Terminology

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Okay wow. You actually clicked on this link…


The NUFC Takeover has entered week 139, you’re desperate and it’s safe to assume that you have Newcastle Takeover Syndrome (NTS).

Unfortunately, an NTS diagnosis doesn’t come with a handbook of explanations. Consequently, the terminology associated with this awful condition is unknown. It’s fairly new to the scientific world so studies are still relatively juvenile in essence.

Observing this desperate need, I thought I’d attempt to abate much of the harm being inflicted upon these poor souls and do a little deep-dive research. I pulled out the key phrases being thrown around and tried to explain what they actually mean in colloquial language.

Below is a list of phrases you’ve seen catching the headlines, here are their ACTUAL meanings.


1) ‘In the coming weeks’ – Early stages of the syndrome, this phrase is extremely common and earns about a million article clicks a day. Here’s a formula you didn’t know of, great deception = great ad revenue. ‘In the coming weeks’ could mean next week, but it could also mean in 2046, because there are also weeks in that year too. I even checked on my calendar, it’s real.

2) ‘In the coming days’ – Ha. So this is a classic. It raises the heartbeat a bit. Reading it on Tuesday makes you expect a Friday announcement. But what few people know is that ‘Days’ spelt backwards is ‘Syad’, which is an acronym for “Sit Your Ass Down” – meaning, get comfortable lads and lasses, it’s going to be while. I am not a conspiracy theorist, but come on…

3) ‘Imminent‘ – Big word this. Makes them seem like they know what they’re talking about. You’ve probably heard it used in your life before like ‘your promotion is imminent’ or ‘imminent salary increase’. But ask yourself, was it imminent – if your answer is ‘yes’, you’re lying and should change your profession to producing click-bait articles 😀

4) ‘Expect an announcement in…’ – I have purposefully left this sentence incomplete as the number of periods is completely irrelevant. It could be ‘weeks’ or ‘days’, all you have to do is refer to the points 1 & 2. This phrase is open ended, as it allows the author of the article to just paint on a blank canvas. In all honesty, the author can just pass the blame on to you having ‘unreasonable expectations’ – something Newcastle United fans get told ALL. THE. TIME. 😦

5) ‘Soon’ – Short and sweet. Just like the time any of Newcastle’s decent players spend at the club.

6) ‘Newcastle Takeover’ – the daddy of all daddy’s. The cat’s pyjama’s. The fact that you even read past these words in ANY sentence at all just shows you have the same syndrome as I do – NTS. ‘Newcastle Takeover’ is a the key catchphrase in the North East and has generated MILLIONS in ad revenue. Could it be because of my ignorance that I keep reading these articles? Yes. But does it feel good being linked with Vince McMahon and having the possibility of seeing Matt Ritchie (and his magic hat) with Allan Saint-Maximin on a tag team at WrestleMania – yes. So take what you will from that.

If you feel that there are any phrases left out, please comment below and provide us with their actual meanings – we’d all be grateful.



Year 2104: Newcastle fans assured that takeover to be announced “Next Monday” by newspapers.

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It’s a warm summers evening, 12 June 2104, and John Smithers (born in Jesmond) has just turned 102. Sitting on his couch, he yells out – “Alexa!! Has the takeover happened yet?”, to which she replies “Nee, wor John. But the papers are reporting that next Monday, it’s definitely going to be announced.”. Hearing this for the millionth time, still brings John some excitement as he imagines Diego Messi (Leo Messi’s great grandson) in the black & white. Good times are coming back to the North East…


What is most impressive in John’s eyes, is that Mike Ashley has been in charge for 97 years. Yes, can you believe it, 97 years – he just “can’t find a suitable buyer”, apparently. After finding out the takeover has been delayed just ‘another few days’, John is interested in further updates on the club; Alexa relays the following:

1) Newcastle United still have no comment on the takeover rumour.
2) Andy Carroll is injured.
3) St James’ Park was renamed, ‘Ashley’s Arena’ in 2052. This was in attempt to ‘attract potential new owners’.
4) Shola Ameobi is manager (at least some good news).
5) Matty Longstaff is still on £250 a week.
6) We haven’t played Sunderland since 2017. The Mackems find themselves in National League North now… tragic.
7) Amanda Staveley is still seated in the stands.
8) The world doesn’t use oil anymore…

Take what you will from the above facts, but there is absolutely no doubt that the imminent takeover will be announced…. next Monday.

Alan Pardew: Newcastle United’s most unfairly treated manager.

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Some might see this headline and dismiss this article right off the bat. But bear with me for a few minutes and you’ll see why I think this title is perfectly justified.

As a backdrop, it is good to remember that when it comes to managers, a sacking is only as good as the replacement. I remember having this debate over and over again in 2014, when fans were calling for Pardew’s head. My argument was never that he was the best manager, but rather, who would replace him? Football fans often think that situations can never get worse, but this is a fallacy. We have seen all too often that they can; Portsmouth & Sunderland are just two prime examples of that.

Towards the end of Pardew’s tenure at Newcastle, the scene at St James’ Park was utterly toxic. The Chronicle commented, “This was arguably the worst personal abuse a Newcastle manager has had to endure…”, and they were very right in asserting so. A dedicated website was setup, “sackpardew.com” as well as tens of thousands of cards being printed and waved at the stadium calling for his departure. The abuse he took was second to none and I’d like to address why it was misplaced and unjustified at its core.

alan pardew headbutt

Contemplating the lows of Pardew’s time at United.

I believe first and foremost it was his character that didn’t sit well with the Geordie faithful, and understandably so. Coupled with this, he isn’t from the North East, which can earn one a few extra mercy points when being dealt with. Pardew was often seen as a ‘yes-man’ that folded under the control of, and essentially his boss, Mike Ashley. I do however see a mitigate here in that it was his boss, this isn’t redundancy. I ask myself, how many of us reading this article stand up to our bosses when it could potentially cost us our job and therefore our livelihood’s. It’s often easy in these situations to expect others to do it, but unfortunately we do not hold ourselves to these same high standards.

In parallel with this was a few pitch-side stunts that were unfathomable in all honesty. Most notably was his head-butting of David Meyler, which was almost incomprehensible at the time. I remember watching it and having to rewind the TV to see if it really happened… unfortunately for Pardew there are no mitigates for these sorts of occurrences. It was completely inexcusable and a Premier League manager should be held to a much higher standard. Accordingly, he received the toughest managerial punishment in Premier League history with a 7 match ban and a £60,000 fine.

Referring to his side’s performances, Pardew, like many Newcastle managers in the last 2 decades failed miserably when it came to cup runs. Newcastle never made it past the 4th round in either the FA Cup or the League cup. There were also certain periods of his stewardship where the football was one-dimensional and Newcastle found themselves lingering at the bottom of the Premier League table; however we were never relegated during his tenure.

Assessing Pardew’s successes at United.

Alan Pardew had many significant accomplishments during his tenure at Newcastle. Most memorably was his 5th place finish in the 2011/2012 season. Given the relative spend of Newcastle compared to other clubs, this was nothing short of incredible. There is no other way to describe it. Newcastle also played some of the most fantastic football that season, carving up the Premier League’s biggest sides in impressive fashion. He still holds the highest Premier League finish Newcastle has had in over 16 years – noteworthy at the very least.

Subsequent to Newcastle finishing 5th, United qualified for the Europa league where he guided us to a very impressive quarter final finish. This is the only European football United has had in 13 years. Although the Premier League run was poor this season, Pardew can hardly take all of the blame for this. With poor investment in a very thin squad, losing our best striker, Demba Ba, to Chelsea as well as the heavily burdensome fixtures of playing Thursday night Europa football – I believe we did well to finish 5 points clear of relegation.

An aspect that Pardew never gets enough credit for are his transfers during his time at United. He signed some of the best players Newcastle have bought in 2 decades, and this aspect is all too often overlooked. Just to list a few, and please note the amount paid for each player: Ayoze Perez (£1.6m), Yohan Cabaye (£4.17m), Moussa Sissoko (£1.6m), Jamaal Lascelles (£4.17m), Mathieu Debuchy (£5.17m), Demba Ba (Free) and Davide Santon (£4.7m). This is nothing short of incredible, and I think any manager would be happy at snapping up these players for the above price-tags.

Pardew also had phenomenal personal achievements whilst managing the Toon Army, ones that you seldom hear regurgitated like his failures are. He was the first Newcastle United manager ever to win the ‘Premier League Manager of the Season’ award (he is also only the second English manager to win it) and likewise, he is also the first Newcastle United manager to win the League Managers Association Manager of the Year award. Coupled with this, he won two ‘Premier League Manager of the Month’ awards, one more than Rafa Benitez and he joins the only other two Newcastle managers who have won it, Sir Bobby Robson and Kevin Keegan.


Now, post reading this, does this sound like someone who is the ‘most terrible manager’; one who some have made Pardew out to be. This sounds at best a decent manager and at worst a mediocre one. But unfortunately, mob-mentality sometimes reigns amongst football fans. I think that the frustration during this time at Newcastle United was completely misplaced. It should have been directed elsewhere and it won’t take a football pundit to know who I am referring to. Managing Newcastle United is like sailing a ship with one arm tied behind your back – the manager is extremely limited in what they can achieve. Without the appropriate backing and support from the owners, you are destined for either failure or premature departure. For reference, just google Kevin Keegan’s comments of the difficulties that come with the job.

Lastly, and with reference to one of my opening statements, a sacking of a manager is only as good as his replacement. There is a common phrase, ‘the grass isn’t always greener on the other side’ and this could not have been more appropriate at the time. Securing a top manager under this current ownership is near impossible. Rafa was an anomaly amongst a host of failed attempts. Pardew wasn’t the greatest, that’s not the point of this article, but he was good enough and the vile, personal abuse he took was completely unwarranted. What followed was his departure, and the passing over to the not so ‘green-grass’ of Steve McClaren, and we all know how that one ended.

The cases for and against the return of Rafa Benitez

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Takeover speculation has sparked all sorts of rumours and debates amongst Newcastle fans. Alongside possible transfer budgets & targets, a hotly debated topic is that of ‘who should take the reins under the prospective ownership’. The three most prominent names in this discussion are the continuation of Steve Bruce, Mauricio Pochettino and the return of Rafa Benitez. In this article, we will discuss the cases both for and against the return of Rafa.

AGAINST:

We ran a poll where close to 1000 Newcastle fans voiced their opinion on preference of new management. It was very close, but most preferred the arrival of Pochettino as opposed to the return of Rafa. Now, we don’t conclude for a second that this represents the sentiments of all Newcastle fans, however subsection polls can be great insights into preferences if extrapolated out appropriately. Below were the three salient reasons for not wanting Rafa back.

1) Rafa left us for money’:

This comment has been floating around since the day Benitez decided not to renew his contract and leave for China. There are valid concerns here and some have felt this was a red flag – a sign of disloyalty towards Newcastle.

We do know that he is on copious amounts of money out East but there are a few mitigates here that are worth considering. Most noteworthy, was that Rafa was fed up under the current ownership and he isn’t the first manager to feel this way and act accordingly. Lack of ambition and frustrations in dealing with both Lee Charnley and Mike Ashley are often cited as the salient points. This is credible, but the most plausible reason for his departure would be a combination of both large monetary offers abroad and the difficulties with ownership on Tynseside.


2) Defensive football:

Rafa has been criticised for his defensive approach to football. Newcastle, which has a history (quite a few years ago now,) of attacking football has seen a change in the general trend of tactics as the Mike Ashley years have gone by. Rafa learned much of his tactical prowess from Italian legend Arrigo Sacchi, who coached the famous AC Milan side that won back-to-back Champions League titles in ’89 & ’90. This model of football is centred around the ideology of distinctly organised attacking formations as well as zonal defensive marking, which succeeded the typical man-to-man marking in Italy at the time. ‘Organised attacking’ setups can often be detrimental to the fluidity of play and we have seen Rafa (not only at his time in Newcastle) more than happy to ‘shut-up-shop’ and frustrate opposing teams with tightly knit defensive structures and limited go forward ball. Some believe, that if massive amounts of transfer funds are available, and given that more talented players could be purchased, Rafa won’t bring that riveting, exciting football to St James’.

In Rafa’s defence (no pun intended), he didn’t have the world greatest players at his disposal whilst in charge. On top of that, it was his tactics that kept us in the Premier League and even secured us a top 10 finish, which well surpassed the expectations of many.


3) It’s time to move on:

Some believe that the prospective new dawn for United should usher in a fresh set of minds. Pochettino is the most heavily linked name to Newcastle and his stellar resume precedes him; with successful stints at both Southampton and Tottenham Hotspur, he’s considered a top tier manager, and rightly so. There is good grounding for those apprehensive of Rafa’s return to St James’; as a fellow fan correctly pointed out that managerial returns are seldom successful and more often than not, complete failures.

In parallel, there is the option to continue as is with Steve Bruce. He’s a Geordie, loves Newcastle United and seems to be one of the nicest blokes in football. But is he the right man to take Newcastle forward? Can Bruce take the Toon Army onto bigger and brighter things? Most fans don’t seem to think so.


FOR:

Rafa managed to capture the heart of the entire city during his tenure at Newcastle United. Post Sir Bobby Robson, it would be fair to say he has been the most adored boss. Managers in years gone by have found it difficult to work with the current ownership but Rafa managed to outperform his predecessors, albeit with little transfer funds available. Here are a few pointers advocating for the return of Rafa:

1) Rafa is a great manager with a proven track record:

Few argue that Rafa isn’t an accomplished manager. His track record speaks for itself, with successful stints at Valencia, Liverpool, Napoli and most recently Newcastle United. He has won the most coveted of club trophies, the Champions League as well as an often forgotten accolade – the La Liga with Valencia. This is an incredible feat in a league that is completely dominated by Barcelona and Real Madrid.

If the supposed takeover happens, one would want a manager that has experience on the grandest of stages – Rafa most certainly has this. He is also highly ambitious and isn’t happy with mid-table finishes or relegation survival. This is clearly evidenced by his fall out with Newcastle’s current ownership, and was his main justification for leaving to China. Further to this, is Rafa’s knowledge and love for Newcastle. He knows this club and what it means to its fans around the world, bringing him back would not be a complete reset but would instead make assimilation with new owners far more streamlined.

2) He stuck with us through relegation:

Some tend to overlook this but it is a pertinent point to consider. Rafa’s loyalty has been questioned by many and understandably so, but we cannot forget how he stayed with the club after we were relegated in 2016. Benitez is not someone who would be found short of job offers, so one may argue that him staying does speak volumes for his loyalty towards United. It is also worth considering that we won the EFL that next season and were subsequently promoted back to the Premier League. Would this have been the case had he had gone and another manager were brought in? There is a possibility that Newcastle could have turned out very similar to that small club in red, down the road.


3) Unfinished business

Rafa has unfinished business at Newcastle United. He had a clear vision for the club – to see it back in the top 4 of English football and playing across Europe. Unfortunately, he was not given the tools to achieve this and by Mike Ashley’s own admission, Newcastle cannot spend the way City, Chelsea, Liverpool etc. do. He finished 10th in his first full season in charge of Newcastle in the Premier League, albeit with a squad that was barely Premier League worthy. Many fans want to see what Rafa can achieve if and when given the financial backing. He is a man who is well connected in Europe and has a decent record with player transfers. He is not a manager who is asking for excessive amounts of transfer funds but rather adequate backing to amass a competitive squad.


In conclusion, whether one is for or against the return of Rafa Benitez, one thing is clear, under this current ownership, United is very limited in what it can achieve. When considering a manager, one should always do it relatively. For example, a successful sacking of a manager is only as good as his replacement and accordingly the successful hiring of a manager is only as a good as the replacement opportunities forgone. In economics this is called an ‘opportunity cost’. So if Rafa is given the bosses seat in lieu of Steve Bruce, many would deem this as ideal. But if it was instead of Pep Guardiola, then we may be having a different discussion.

At the end of the day, this is all very wishful thinking and hopeful talk. Having a great manager without supportive owners is building a house on sand, and this is what Newcastle have been trying to do for many years now.


5 proofs you’re a true Newcastle United fan.

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Loyalty is a such a pertinent characteristic in a human being. I’ve always said, if anyone had to question my loyalty, they’d just need to check my track record in supporting Newcastle United. I think many of you reading this right now are the same.

Given all this take-over talk and the prospects of a new dawn (however doubtful) looming, I thought I’d write a piece on what are several key characteristics of a true Geordie (not the YouTuber). This litmus test is by no means exhaustive, but whether you’re from Newcastle or Moscow, supporting United is likely to have developed some of the below.

1. Goodness gracious, you just hate Sunderland

Given that they are our rivals (despite being in some division in Scotland or Armenia or wherever they play), you’d think that this hatred is standard procedure. But the hate runs deep here, real deep. I’m not sure how it grows into this unending pit of loathsome emotions – but the force is strong. So much so, you’ve found yourself at the airport, glancing over at the monitor & notice a plane leaving for Milan – this will be followed by a quiet whisper under your breath “…never seen a Mackem there before”. No one will find that funny, but it’s a powerful feeling, very powerful – moving on.


2. You are an absolute SUCKER for clickbait articles

We all hate them, we are all tired of them, but we cannot stop reading them. Some say drugs are addictive and I bet they are – but have you ever seen an article titled “Messi, Newcastle’s new number 10??”, I cannot elaborate the heights this takes my dopamine levels to, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I’m going to read that article (with a photoshopped Messi in the black & white). From the arrival of Mpabbe & Vidal to the supposed Vince McMahon takeover rumors, we have seen and heard it all. If you still find yourself just having a quick browse over any articles like this – yup, you’re a Newcastle fan, sorry pal.


3. Alan Shearer makes your heart beat faster


We don’t have much going for us in the North East, but we do have Shearer – if you don’t know who he is, you’re too young bro. Without doubt and unmistakably the greatest striker in Premier League history (don’t argue), with 260 Premier League goals (and 283 top flight goals) – a million more than the next. We love Alan Shearer, who turned down a move to that club in red with someone “at the wheel” now, to play for his boyhood club Newcastle United. A clear manifestation of Magpie fandom is if you have spat out your chewing gum and hit a full volley screaming “SHHHEEARRRRREEERRR!” whilst your crusty gum misses the bin and lands somewhere, 7 yards from you – glorious.


4. You are a “When we…”


Newcastle United hasn’t had much success under the current regime…… okay its been utterly abysmal. Since we don’t have many accolades to flaunt and Joelinton’s goal scoring record isn’t turning heads, we resort to the dreaded “When we” approach. It’s the classic, “When we had Beardsley & Ferdinand…” or “When we were in the Champions League…” – if you are doing this, unfortunately Geordie fandom has spread to your vital organs – you are screwed. I have found myself at dinner tables, randomly blurting out, and completely off topic “You know, when we were under Kevin Keegan…” which is shortly followed by awkward stares. Maybe it’s the ignorance of my dinner guests, or maybe I am just hurt and this is a desperate cry for help… but it’s probably their ignorance.


5. Wor Bobby


Sir Bobby Robson was a very special person. He was one of the few personalities in football (in my lifetime, at least) that transcended the sport. Not only was he a mastermind and elite in his managerial capacity, but he was just a phenomenal fatherly figure at the club. His love for both Newcastle United and the sport of football has etched his name into the history books forever. As your love for Newcastle United grows, I think in parallel so will your appreciation and respect for Wor Bobby. If this quote gives you goosebumps, you most certainly are a member of the Toon Army.

“What is a club in any case? Not the buildings or the directors or the people who are paid to represent it. It’s not the television contracts, get-out clauses, marketing departments or executive boxes. It’s the noise, the passion, the feeling of belonging, the pride in your city. It’s a small boy clambering up stadium steps for the very first time, gripping his father’s hand, gawping at that hallowed stretch of turf beneath him and, without being able to do a thing about it, falling in love.”

– Sir Bobby Robson.


I believe if you have some of the above mentioned traits, howay man – you’re a Geordie. We may not have the trophies, but you are apart of one of the best sets of fans in world football. We pack the stadiums when we have absolutely no reason to other than the love that we have for our club. We are so loud and won’t stop singing until that final whistle blows, even if we are losing, and my friend, we lose a lot.

Please feel free to add to the list in the comments below and to share with your fellow footballing fans. #cans